Dobby meets his doom! Options

[Imogen]

This was Erin's suggestion, and I love it! Dobby's driving me nuts, and probably will for most of this fic. So the plan is - to ease a little frustration - to kill Dobby off in this thread with as many variations and mutilations as possible. Please feel free to join in.

Dobby was strolling down Diagon Alley with the key to Dumbledore's vault clutched tightly in his fingers. Dumbledore had entrusted him with this mission and it was important that he did as much as possible to worry all of Imogen's readers that Harry was about to die.
"Such an honour it is!" he squeaked to himself, delighted that he'd eventually made it into one of the stories.
He turned left, and was just wandering past Magical Musical Moments when a loud groaning noice caught his attention. A dark shadow loomed over him, swaying in the wind and the creaking intensified.
Slowly the little house elf looked up with huge eyes like surprised saucers. The walls of the building towered above him and finally his eyes alighted on a large, black, heavy Steinway piano suspended from a very rickety pulley.
The rope was fraying. Slowly. Slowly to the final strand.
Dobby gulped.
There was a rush of air.
Squelch!

[nome]

Harry sighed. The letter in his hand, in a tiny squiggly hand written in purple, was so full of dire dooms and macabre predictions it would have driven Trelawney to tears of awe. Of course, that was after she'd deciphered the concepts hidden in grammar that made Ron wince.

"Hedwig, if you see him coming before I do, keep him out of here," Harry said with exasperation. "I don't want to spend a night regrowing every bone in my body." Hedwig had been terribly sick recently, and was not in a good mood. Swooping from a perch he'd set up in a high corner, she ripped the letter from his hand and in a few moments left it as confetti. Hooting emphatically, she left the room presumably for a bit of hunting.

Hedwig WAS hunting. She'd been deathly sick because of a house-elf spell meant for Harry, and now had permission to do something about it...

Dobby, making his irritatingly airy way towards Privet drive, didn't see the bird until it was too late. When she gave a hoot of triumph, he turned his watery saucer-eyes up, and...

(loud hoots and squeals, accompanied by icky owl-violence sounds)

[Yoda]

While normally highly supportive of Dobby, him being a slightly unhinged version of my me, I find this thread absolutely brilliant. I've set mine actually in Gringotts:

Yoda

PS: This is dedicated to my five o'clock lecture of evil.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Such a maze it is!' Dobby squeaked to himself as he wandered through the caverns beneath Gringotts. 'Left it is right and right then left it is right, or it is right then right and left then right it is?' he tried, frantically trying to remember the route the goblin had given him.

Taking a left that is right, Dobby strolled nonchalantly down the passage only to find himself in darkness. 'Wrong this is,' he squeaked nervously, turning around to see that the torches behind him had also extinguished. 'Very wrong it is.'

Not for the first time Dobby cursed his magic for not letting him learn how to conjour a fire. A flicker caught his eye though, and set in the entrance to a passage he saw a flame dancing steadily. With an excited squeak he ran towards the flame, leaning against the rough wall beside it and pulling out his map.

An interesting candle it is Dobby thought, staring up at the flame. It was quite strong for a candle, and seemed to be surrounded by dripping liquid that caught alight to fizz out. Peering into the alcove, Dobby saw that a leaky pipe was the source, and had sprayed the liquid all over the serrated edges of the alcove.

'Squeak.' Said Dobby.

'Yawn.' Said the dragon.

[Ashwinder]

I would just like to state for the record that I think the ultimate demise for Dobby would be to have a giant foot come out of the sky and stomp on him.

[Yoda]

I would like to request that the theme to Monty Python's Flying Circus be played when Ashwinder's suggestion is used

Yoda

[nome]

Giant foot? do we speak of Hagrid?



*MP theme in background*

And Dobby, small creature he that is with two socks from great Harry Potter sir, scurried through the maze of giant orange balls, until, suddenly out of the sky, a giant bare foot plunges.

Squish.

"Ruddy little bugs, can't hardly seem down there, 'mong the pumpkins an' all. Oh, well. Fang! Here, boy!"

[bart]

one of the things Harry Potter insisted on in his and Ginny’s new house was an electricity supply, which impressed Mr Weasley no end and he had already booked a week off work "to come and help them settle in" which of cause everyone else knew meant to come and play!

Something Harry liked to do was listen to music when he was in the bath, and so Dobby was just setting up the CD player [nicked from Dudley on his last visit] with his favourite album, when the door bell went, causing Dobby to jump and knock it to the hot foamy water, caught between answering the door and rescuing the CD player, he quickly leant over and put his hand in the water to find the player........................ :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

[BJH]

"Oh, what is we to do?" moaned little Winky. "The dinner is to start soon and we is out of meat."

"Maybe they is not being too hungry tonight," one of the other house-elves said hopefully.

"NO!" Dobby screamed in a voice so high and shrill that even the other house-elves covered their ears. "Harry Potter must have a proper dinner. We is must to find him some meat!'

Winky looked over at him and replied, "You is right, Dobby, and I know just where to find some."

Saying this, she picked up a razor-sharp cleaver and proceeded to get more than enough meat to feed all the Gryffindors.

BJ

[Imogen]

FOFLOL - these are brilliant! BJ has inspired me:
***

"Dobby is promising not to tell," the house elf said in a wavering voice, looking at Harry. "Oh Sir, you is not wanting Dobby to betray Dumbledore."
"I want to know what's going on," Harry yelled at the top of his voice. "You've got a key, Dumbledore's told you something and I WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M IN MORTAL PERIL!"
"Your wand," Dobby whispered, his saucer eyes shifting uneasily between Harry and Ron. "I is telling you that..."
And with a sudden jerk the elf propelled himself into the cafe's kitchen and began to bang his head against the oven yelling, "Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!"
Suddenly he felt a jerk on his clothing like a Port Key and he was plunged into total darkness with a clang. There was a hiss, a smell of gas and a roar of violet flames.
"Roast Elf for tonight's special," the chef roared.

[Helen]

Dobby was walking up the side of Cairngorm, In the snow underneath the Railway Line, when suddenly a train came over the rails that lay baove him. He carried on right up to the top. Unable to see for the fog. On the top harry noticed the silly elf and went and over to a cliff and threw him off. And that was the end of this Dobby.

Notes:
Cairngorm - Scotlands Fifth Higest Mountain, Part of the Grampian range. The cliff is often called Devils Gorge. It has a furnicular railway, which their will be enough room for dobby to walk underneath the tracks. Oh and it is about to be come a National park.

[nome]

Dobby whimpered in joy as he read the letter. Washing Machines United had heard about his love of socks, and was going to send him some for Christmas! He'd always asked for socks for Christmas and now, without him saying anything, kind and generous heroic people were giving him some just to make him happy!

His eyes grew wide as he reread the last bit, and saw the spot he was to touch for delivery. He had to bring the letter up close to his face to read the small instructions, and the tip of his long nose brushed it.

It is rather easy to suffocate underneath six million mismatched socks.

[bart]

Harry was stressed, it was Ginny’s birthday and he had forgotten all about it, luckily although he did not now how, he had got away with saying her "surprise" present would be there when she came home from Hogwarts that evening, which was why he could now be found doing a particularly delicate bit of charm work which required the utmost concentration.

Suddenly his door slammed open, putting his wand down he swung round in anger, NOT NOW DOBBY! "But Mr Harry Potter Sir, Dobby has an important message from his wheezy sir!" "Great just great thought" Harry as he picked up his wand, and turning back to his work said "two minutes Dobby that’s all I ask" and went back to work, forgetting in his rush to get done, that his new wand required that little extra bit of concentration and control. When the smoke cleared Harry noticed bits of Ginny’s present covered just about every surface in the room

"Oh *@#*$%£$$%$%**%!!!!!" cursed Harry throwing his wand across the room with some force, noting with some pleasure the sound it made as it impaled itself in the door, if he had been listening even more he would have heard the small squelch just before the thud of it hitting the door.

Remembering that Dobby had entered a moment earlier with a message for him he turned round to see a rather shocked house elf dangling a couple of inches of the floor.....................................

[Julephenia]

Harry woke suddenly. There was something staring at him in the dark.

And it wasn't Ginny.

Oh, no. Ginny's gaze felt warm and wonderful. Loving. Healthy.

This gaze felt annoying. Annoying and anxious and fearful and full of important things to say.

"DOBBY!" he hissed, desperate not to wake Ginny and Hope.

"I is come to warn you, sir!" the elf squeaked.

"Try another line, Dobby, you already used that one in Book Two!" Harry said through clenched teeth.

"You is in MORTAL PERIL, Harry Potter, sir, and I is to save you, sir!" Dobby nodded his head mournfully.

"Didn't I *tell* you *never* to try and save my life again?" Harry said, momentarily mixing up the books and the movie, as it was 3:30 in the morning.

Dobby's head wavered toward the wall. "I knows that, sir, and I is sorry... but Dobby must do his duty, sir, and Harry Potter is stopping Dobby from his duty!"

Harry reached out and grabbed Dobby by the neck.

"I don't bloody *care* about your duty! LEAVE. ME. ALONE."

The elf squeaked, trying to get air.

"Oh, not using your magic now, are you, Dobby?" Harry hissed maliciously. "I promised I'd strangle you once, and I *never* break a promise!"

The elf gasped for air, turning a strange shade of teal.

Harry grinned as Dobby's eyes watered and bulged.

"YES!" he screamed, forgetting his wife and daughter were sleeping.

"I KILLED HIM! He's GONE! GONE, I TELL YOU! GONE!"

"Harry?"

(On perusal, I really got into homicidal Harry, didn't I? Sorry, Imogen!)

Becky, yeah, it's that time of morning... and it's been a rough night

[magoo42]

Dobby the house elf was wondering along, driving people crazy with his annoying voice, when he ran into a rather strange creature.

"Mesa Jar Jar Binks," it said in an outrageous accent. "Mesa an evil creature. Mesa responsible for all the evil in mesa's universe."

Dobby was horrified and tried to run away. But Jar Jar caught him. In desperation, Dobby used his magic to try to blow Jar Jar up. It worked, but Dobby was disintegrated along with it.

And all the people cheered, for the universe had been rid of all evil anoying false muppets.

~ami~ who watched episode I again this week for no good reason...

[nome]

A boisterous crowd surged along, carrying a small green thing with a hat, towards a man releasing owls with coconuts...

"We've got a witch! We've got a witch! May we burn her?"
"How do you know she is a witch?"
"She looks like one!"
"Bring her foward!"
The small green thing trembles. "I is not a witch, I is not a witch! I is not even female, sir!"
"But you are dressed as one!"
"They is dressing me up like this, sir! And this hat on Dobby's head is not being Dobby's hat, sir, but was set there by... bad Dobby! bad Dobby!" The small green thing slammed its head against the edge of a firepit. Unfortunately, it knocked itself unconcious and fell in.
"I suppose the arguments over, then," said the judge absentmindedly, "but that sizzling... it seems to be bothering the owls, and I'm not sure whether one will be able to carry a whole coconut. Maybe if two carried it together..."