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> Did you hear..., Two liner jokes for fun, fun, fun!
QuickHare
post Jun 28 2004, 06:12 PM
Post #31


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Next you'll be wanting sick pay, too! And I always thought that laughter was the best medicine. Now I find out it causes illnesses!

Though it would explain the three sparrows, five squirrels and a cat I found dead near that comedy club I passed by last night.


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QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Jul 20 2004, 10:34 PM
Post #32


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Did you hear about the man who threw his clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly


rolleyes.gif tongue.gif




________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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QuickHare
post Jul 21 2004, 09:12 AM
Post #33


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Did you hear the one about the male lamb? He felt a little sheepish at times.


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QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Jul 26 2004, 01:15 AM
Post #34


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Did you hear about the idiotic karate champion who joined the army?
The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who had no control over her pupils?

Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed?
He said he wanted to grow some birds.

Hope you enjoyed the stupid humor tongue.gif


________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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QuickHare
post Jul 27 2004, 12:39 PM
Post #35


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I enjoyed it as the "stupid humour" is what this thread is all about!
wacko.gif biggrin.gif


________________________________________

QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Jul 29 2004, 09:37 PM
Post #36


Aerials
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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side?
He's all-right now!


Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children?

Did you hear about the moron that got an AM radio?
It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.

tongue.gif


________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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QuickHare
post Jul 29 2004, 10:02 PM
Post #37


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Did you hear the one about the mackeral watching fishing programmes on TV? He got hooked.

Did you hear the one about the 15th century alcoholic? He took one drink and the rest was history.

Did you hear the one about the digital shark? It had a mega byte.


________________________________________

QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Jul 29 2004, 11:43 PM
Post #38


Aerials
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Did you hear about the love sick vampire?
He became a Neck-romancer!

Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer?
He fell in the sink!

Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels.
They were dirty crooks!

Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired?
He stayed awake on the job.



god, that last one was so bad tongue.gif


________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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QuickHare
post Jul 30 2004, 12:02 PM
Post #39


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Actually, they were all good. The last one was different, but still good.


Did you hear the one about the shocked mime artist? He was left speechless.

Did you hear the one about the egotistical fat guy? He thought he was larger than life.

Did you hear the one about the Diamond Kid? he was a little gem.


________________________________________

QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Aug 18 2004, 08:08 PM
Post #40


Aerials
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Did you hear the one about the nose that grew 12 inches long? It became a foot

Did you hear about the french fries? They're made in grease



________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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hockeygod
post Aug 18 2004, 08:12 PM
Post #41


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Those were good Jerry.


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~ B.M.
Proud Member of the I.S.D.!!!


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I'm a Math Geek and it makes me happy!!!

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."~Aristotle

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."~Henry Van Dyke

"Life is wasted on the living."~Douglas Adams

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together."~Georg C. Lichtenberg
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QuickHare
post Aug 19 2004, 12:29 PM
Post #42


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Did you hear the one about the inept chef who put sugar and lemon on a plate? He was trying to make sweet and sour.

Did you hear the one about the helium-filled yoyo? It didn't go down too well.


________________________________________

QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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Jerry
post Aug 19 2004, 10:25 PM
Post #43


Aerials
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Did you hear about Harry's grim godfather?
He was serious.

Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer?
He fell in the sink.

rolleyes.gif tongue.gif


________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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hockeygod
post Aug 20 2004, 01:38 PM
Post #44


String Theory Rocks my World!
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Where do you guys keep getting these? I like the serious joke Jerry.


________________________________________

~ B.M.
Proud Member of the I.S.D.!!!


IPB Image hockeygod

I'm a Math Geek and it makes me happy!!!

"Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit."~Aristotle

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity."~Henry Van Dyke

"Life is wasted on the living."~Douglas Adams

"Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together."~Georg C. Lichtenberg
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Jerry
post Aug 20 2004, 03:15 PM
Post #45


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The serious one I actually made up biggrin.gif . Glad you like it.

Some of the others I've heard a long time ago; the rest are my doing.

Did you hear about the vampire who was locked up in asylum?
He went bats.

Did you hear about the two monsters who crashed?
They fell off a cliff, boom, boom.

Did you hear about the moron who only ate noodles?
I didn't.

tongue.gif


________________________________________

~ M.C.

Proud Member of the I.S.D.


QUOTE
“Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”

-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire


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