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> 50000 words...piffle, or how to cheat
bart
post Oct 16 2003, 06:20 PM
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I like these people biggrin.gif
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bart
post Oct 16 2003, 06:24 PM
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particually like the bloke wondering into random scenes saying "dorf" and wandering back out again, classic biggrin.gif
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Willow
post Oct 16 2003, 07:17 PM
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i like the child counting to 500 and losing his place at 498 and starting again...youd type out all the numbers! class!


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bart
post Oct 16 2003, 10:01 PM
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little girl to teacher "whats a big number miss"?

"well 50000's a big number Emma"

"how long would it take to count to that miss"

"well why don't you try?"

"ok miss I will.... One, Two, Three, Four, Fiv........
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nome
post Oct 17 2003, 02:42 AM
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laugh.gif OF COURSE, we would never pad our stories. whistling.gif Describing what everyone's wearing? Adding random thoughts about people completely unrelated to the story? Nooooo, not possible...


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nome
post Oct 17 2003, 02:45 AM
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Did you all take a look at this one?

QUOTE
Shameless padding, right? Well, I couldn't see anyone using this one unless they were truly without shame, or, like me, they had a good (relevant-to-plot) reason.

Have a character who is a writer. This character is writing a novel within the story. Now - here's the shameless part. Have the character write a long sentence/paragraph (depending on your level of shamelessness). Have the character decide that he/she doesn't like it at all. Have him/her delete the sentence. As follows:

"Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace, backspace. Backspace, backspace, backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace..."

Be sure that you have included the same exact number of "backspaces" as there are characters in the sentence/paragraph - and remember, that includes spaces.

devil.gif


Priceless!


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Julesstilltoolazytologin
post Oct 17 2003, 05:43 PM
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I've actually been wetting myself laughing at these - they're fantastically funny laugh.gif

One that might actually go well into a story as well as padding something out, though:

QUOTE
I wonder...: I burned about 500-1000 words having a character wonder what kind of a person a fellow bus passenger was. He fantasized about her being a spy, or a housewife, or a cancer-curing scientist, and speculated on what his life would be like if he were to date her in each of her incarnations. He even tried to imagine what her name was. I plan to use this technique again by just having a character become fascinated with something or someone they know nothing about.


Man. FUNNY thread. XD Thanks buddy!

-Jules. xxx
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bart
post Oct 17 2003, 09:12 PM
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and just because i liked him i've worked out how to get the dorf guy in to my story, he will appear just the once and will fit so well I wont even be able to claim it as padding biggrin.gif
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ancarett
post Oct 18 2003, 01:32 AM
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QUOTE
I wont even be able to claim it as padding


Tsk, tsk. Kind of defeats the purpose of padding, dontcha know?

Don't forget the timeworn method we historians have of padding our work. Quote others. Liberally, extensively. Quote opposing opinions and authorities. Repeat selected sections of the quotes when you discuss them.

Using quotes to open each of your chapters also works, dontcha know. Poetry quotes. Favourite novel quotes. Fast food menu quotes. The possibilities are endless!


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Imogen
post Oct 18 2003, 10:02 AM
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QUOTE (ancarett @ Oct 18 2003, 01:32 AM)

Using quotes to open each of your chapters also works, dontcha know. Poetry quotes. Favourite novel quotes. Fast food menu quotes. The possibilities are endless!

Damn - you've spotted my padding technique!

Imogen whistling.gif


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After her O.W.L.s Hope had managed to persuade her dad to give her a crash course in what he laughingly referred to as “Parseltongue for tourists”. Being in Slytherin, she’d thought it had been the epitome of cool to return to school with such useful snakey phrases as “Can you pass the apple pie, please?” and “Would you be good enough to tell me what time the train to Madrid departs from Platform Two?”
. ~ A Pensieve Affair ~ Now being posted...
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Robert
post Oct 18 2003, 10:27 AM
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Acarett,

Don't give the Muggles all our secrets! Otherwise they'll think that they too can write works on totally meaningless subjects and esoterical thoughts with no real worries that anyone out there actually cares about what they wrote.

Robert laugh.gif laugh.gif


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an smutty outtake to Imogen's A Pensieve Affair
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“Don’t move,” his voice whispered, “Trust me.”

Hope felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body at Matthew’s words.

“I do,” was her only reply as she surrendered control of the seduction to him.


REFLECTIONS : a post PA story
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George looked around and said, “We heard noises through the ceiling so we thought we’d come up and see you.”

“Yes,” added Fred, “funny thing is, though, in addition to the loud thumps we could have sworn we heard two different sets of footsteps.”

“Damn,” Hope thought, “we forgot to charm the floor!”


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The untold story of Harry's Sixth Year
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