I like these people

particually like the bloke wondering into random scenes saying "dorf" and wandering back out again, classic

i like the child counting to 500 and losing his place at 498 and starting again...youd type out all the numbers! class!

little girl to teacher "whats a big number miss"?

"well 50000's a big number Emma"

"how long would it take to count to that miss"

"well why don't you try?"

"ok miss I will.... One, Two, Three, Four, Fiv........

OF COURSE, we would never pad our stories. Describing what everyone's wearing? Adding random thoughts about people completely unrelated to the story? Nooooo, not possible...

Did you all take a look at this one?

QUOTE

Shameless padding, right? Well, I couldn't see anyone using this one unless they were truly without shame, or, like me, they had a good (relevant-to-plot) reason. Have a character who is a writer. This character is writing a novel within the story. Now - here's the shameless part. Have the character write a long sentence/paragraph (depending on your level of shamelessness). Have the character decide that he/she doesn't like it at all. Have him/her delete the sentence. As follows: "Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace, backspace. Backspace, backspace, backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace. Backspace..." Be sure that you have included the same exact number of "backspaces" as there are characters in the sentence/paragraph - and remember, that includes spaces.

Priceless!

I've actually been wetting myself laughing at these - they're fantastically funny

One that might actually go well into a story as well as padding something out, though:

QUOTE

I wonder...: I burned about 500-1000 words having a character wonder what kind of a person a fellow bus passenger was. He fantasized about her being a spy, or a housewife, or a cancer-curing scientist, and speculated on what his life would be like if he were to date her in each of her incarnations. He even tried to imagine what her name was. I plan to use this technique again by just having a character become fascinated with something or someone they know nothing about.

Man. FUNNY thread. XD Thanks buddy!

-Jules. xxx

and just because i liked him i've worked out how to get the dorf guy in to my story, he will appear just the once and will fit so well I wont even be able to claim it as padding

QUOTE

I wont even be able to claim it as padding

Tsk, tsk. Kind of defeats the purpose of padding, dontcha know?

Don't forget the timeworn method we historians have of padding our work. Quote others. Liberally, extensively. Quote opposing opinions and authorities. Repeat selected sections of the quotes when you discuss them.

Using quotes to open each of your chapters also works, dontcha know. Poetry quotes. Favourite novel quotes. Fast food menu quotes. The possibilities are endless!

QUOTE (ancarett @ Oct 18 2003, 01:32 AM)

Using quotes to open each of your chapters also works, dontcha know. Poetry quotes. Favourite novel quotes. Fast food menu quotes. The possibilities are endless!

Damn - you've spotted my padding technique!

Imogen

Acarett,

Don't give the Muggles all our secrets! Otherwise they'll think that they too can write works on totally meaningless subjects and esoterical thoughts with no real worries that anyone out there actually cares about what they wrote.

Robert