Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

IPB

 
 Reply to this topic    Start new topic
> You Might Be A Redneck Wizard If..., Something to consider....
Robert
post Feb 1 2005, 07:27 AM
Post #1


King of Fluff
*********

Group: Readers
Posts: 3,422
Joined: 13-September 03
From: Myrtle Beach SC
Member No.: 1,914
The follwing is a series of jokes by Anime Redneck from the story Blue Collar Hogwarts at Portkey.org. I thought they were pretty good.

1. If for your potions final you made a bottle of moonshine.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


2. If you've ever been on the cover of Broom trader magazine.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


3. If you've ever burned your eyebrows off trying to turn water into wine.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


4. If you've ever been accused of using inappropriate spells on a farm animal.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


5. If you've ever used the Alohamora spell to open a beer can.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


6. If you've ever mooned someone while on a broom.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


7. If you've ever tried to start a BBQ with a fire-breathing dragon.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard



________________________________________

Let's Go Generals!

Co-ed Naked Quidditch
When Catching the Golden Snitch isn't Enough IPB Image

Advice to remember: If you can't apologize to someone when you're in the wrong, don't expect them to respect you afterwards.

YOU WASH MY BACK AND.....
an smutty outtake to Imogen's A Pensieve Affair
QUOTE
“Don’t move,” his voice whispered, “Trust me.”

Hope felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body at Matthew’s words.

“I do,” was her only reply as she surrendered control of the seduction to him.


REFLECTIONS : a post PA story
QUOTE
George looked around and said, “We heard noises through the ceiling so we thought we’d come up and see you.”

“Yes,” added Fred, “funny thing is, though, in addition to the loud thumps we could have sworn we heard two different sets of footsteps.”

“Damn,” Hope thought, “we forgot to charm the floor!”


INVICTUS, Book 5 of the Carpe Diem Universe
The untold story of Harry's Sixth Year
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
hershey
post Feb 1 2005, 03:03 PM
Post #2


Colin and bubbles...imagine the possibilities.
*********

Group: The Mod Squad
Posts: 3,926
Joined: 22-August 03
From: Minnesota
Member No.: 1,821
Oh I love Jeff Foxworthy! Can we make up our own.

Here's one..

8. If you've ever blasted your bum while scratching your backside with your wand.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard


________________________________________

AKA Molly Weasley minus 3 boys

"I used to be a real wild child, but now I am a Volvo driving soccer mom" - Everclear

(actually I'm more a SUV driving sport of the season mom, but whose checking)

Proud Member of the Red Trio

And say my glory was I had such friends. - William Butler Yeats
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Robert
post Feb 1 2005, 11:13 PM
Post #3


King of Fluff
*********

Group: Readers
Posts: 3,422
Joined: 13-September 03
From: Myrtle Beach SC
Member No.: 1,914
9. If youever tried to animage into a horse and became a donkey, you might be a Redneck Wizard


________________________________________

Let's Go Generals!

Co-ed Naked Quidditch
When Catching the Golden Snitch isn't Enough IPB Image

Advice to remember: If you can't apologize to someone when you're in the wrong, don't expect them to respect you afterwards.

YOU WASH MY BACK AND.....
an smutty outtake to Imogen's A Pensieve Affair
QUOTE
“Don’t move,” his voice whispered, “Trust me.”

Hope felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body at Matthew’s words.

“I do,” was her only reply as she surrendered control of the seduction to him.


REFLECTIONS : a post PA story
QUOTE
George looked around and said, “We heard noises through the ceiling so we thought we’d come up and see you.”

“Yes,” added Fred, “funny thing is, though, in addition to the loud thumps we could have sworn we heard two different sets of footsteps.”

“Damn,” Hope thought, “we forgot to charm the floor!”


INVICTUS, Book 5 of the Carpe Diem Universe
The untold story of Harry's Sixth Year
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
QuickHare
post Feb 2 2005, 10:34 PM
Post #4


It's a Small World After All
Group Icon

Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
10. If you tend to add the word "Yeehaw" in the middle of a spell.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.

11. If you think Hogwarts is on the back of an ill pig on your farm.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.

12. If you cast a knockback jinx and fall in some cows mess.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.

13. If your dream working holiday is to work with muggles in an office rather than a ranch.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.

14. If you turn up to classes with a cowboy hat.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.

15. If you get sunburned below your hairline but above your shoulders.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.


________________________________________

QuickHare

"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Cristin
post Nov 24 2005, 12:12 AM
Post #5


You talkin' to me?
*********

Group: H&G Members
Posts: 2,448
Joined: 14-October 04
From: California
Member No.: 3,626
16. If your broom is orange and christened "The General Lee."
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.


________________________________________

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.

"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."
-Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy-

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it."
-Edith Wharton-
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Cristin
post Mar 26 2006, 10:22 PM
Post #6


You talkin' to me?
*********

Group: H&G Members
Posts: 2,448
Joined: 14-October 04
From: California
Member No.: 3,626
17. If, while flying during a quidditch game, you just fly fast and turn left.
You Might Be a Redneck Wizard.


________________________________________

I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do.

"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."
-Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy-

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it."
-Edith Wharton-
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
 

Reply to this topic    Start new topic
2 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

- Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 12th December 2024 - 10:36 AM
Invision Power Board v2.1.6 © 2024  IPS, Inc.
Licensed to: Imogen, skin by Nubknacker