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 Did you hear..., Two liner jokes for fun, fun, fun! |
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| QuickHare |
 Jun 28 2004, 06:12 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Next you'll be wanting sick pay, too! And I always thought that laughter was the best medicine. Now I find out it causes illnesses!
Though it would explain the three sparrows, five squirrels and a cat I found dead near that comedy club I passed by last night.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Jerry |
Jul 20 2004, 10:34 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear about the man who threw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly  
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire  Rabbits Have Rights!
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| QuickHare |
Jul 21 2004, 09:12 AM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Did you hear the one about the male lamb? He felt a little sheepish at times.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Jerry |
Jul 26 2004, 01:15 AM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear about the idiotic karate champion who joined the army? The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who had no control over her pupils? Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed? He said he wanted to grow some birds. Hope you enjoyed the stupid humor
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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| Jerry |
Jul 29 2004, 09:37 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side? He's all-right now! Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children? Did you hear about the moron that got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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| QuickHare |
Jul 29 2004, 10:02 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Did you hear the one about the mackeral watching fishing programmes on TV? He got hooked.
Did you hear the one about the 15th century alcoholic? He took one drink and the rest was history.
Did you hear the one about the digital shark? It had a mega byte.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Jerry |
Jul 29 2004, 11:43 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear about the love sick vampire? He became a Neck-romancer! Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer? He fell in the sink! Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks! Did you hear about the mattress tester who was fired? He stayed awake on the job. god, that last one was so bad
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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| QuickHare |
Jul 30 2004, 12:02 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Actually, they were all good. The last one was different, but still good.
Did you hear the one about the shocked mime artist? He was left speechless.
Did you hear the one about the egotistical fat guy? He thought he was larger than life.
Did you hear the one about the Diamond Kid? he was a little gem.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Jerry |
Aug 18 2004, 08:08 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear the one about the nose that grew 12 inches long? It became a foot
Did you hear about the french fries? They're made in grease
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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| QuickHare |
Aug 19 2004, 12:29 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Did you hear the one about the inept chef who put sugar and lemon on a plate? He was trying to make sweet and sour.
Did you hear the one about the helium-filled yoyo? It didn't go down too well.
________________________________________
QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Jerry |
Aug 19 2004, 10:25 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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Did you hear about Harry's grim godfather? He was serious. Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer? He fell in the sink.
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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| Jerry |
Aug 20 2004, 03:15 PM
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Aerials
Group: Readers
Posts: 6,008
Joined: 18-July 04
From: New York
Member No.: 3,207
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The serious one I actually made up  . Glad you like it. Some of the others I've heard a long time ago; the rest are my doing. Did you hear about the vampire who was locked up in asylum? He went bats. Did you hear about the two monsters who crashed? They fell off a cliff, boom, boom. Did you hear about the moron who only ate noodles? I didn't.
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~ M.C.
Proud Member of the I.S.D. QUOTE “Hey Harry!” said Cedric, strolling up to him. “Did you hear those screams? I almost died!... Is that David Bowie?”
“Never mind that, look!” the American exchange student exclaimed. “I found the Triwizard cup! It’s mine! All mine! I’ll finally get the fame and glory and honor I deserve!”
“Stupefy,” said Harry. The American exchange student dropped to the ground, stunned.
“Woah!” Cedric exclaimed in astonishment. “You can do magic?!”
“Come on, Cedric,” Harry sighed. “We’d better take this together. You know, so Draco Malfoy won’t think I’m selfish. I really want to get with him, you know.”
-- Silver Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Omelette of Desire Rabbits Have Rights!
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