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 Did you hear..., Two liner jokes for fun, fun, fun! |
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| QuickHare |
 May 20 2004, 01:47 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
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17. Did you hear the one about embarrassing accident? Shame........
18. Did you hear the one about the couple of rotten eggs? Too bad.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| QuickHare |
May 24 2004, 03:58 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
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19. Did you hear the one about the other page? You'll find it overleaf.
20. Did you hear the one about the flying sheet of paper? It is a bit thin off the ground.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Robert |
May 25 2004, 06:10 AM
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King of Fluff
Group: Readers
Posts: 3,422
Joined: 13-September 03
From: Myrtle Beach SC
Member No.: 1,914
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21. Did you hear about the philandering golfer? He plays a round a lot.
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Let's Go Generals!Co-ed Naked Quidditch When Catching the Golden Snitch isn't Enough  Advice to remember: If you can't apologize to someone when you're in the wrong, don't expect them to respect you afterwards.YOU WASH MY BACK AND..... an smutty outtake to Imogen's A Pensieve Affair QUOTE “Don’t move,” his voice whispered, “Trust me.”
Hope felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body at Matthew’s words.
“I do,” was her only reply as she surrendered control of the seduction to him. REFLECTIONS : a post PA story QUOTE George looked around and said, “We heard noises through the ceiling so we thought we’d come up and see you.”
“Yes,” added Fred, “funny thing is, though, in addition to the loud thumps we could have sworn we heard two different sets of footsteps.”
“Damn,” Hope thought, “we forgot to charm the floor!” INVICTUS, Book 5 of the Carpe Diem Universe The untold story of Harry's Sixth Year
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| Drie |
Jun 10 2004, 03:49 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: The Mod Squad
Posts: 6,469
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Pasadena, CA
Member No.: 1,656
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Thought of this old joke as I was trying (and failing) to create a new one this morning. (Don't ask.) | QUOTE | | A man walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Next time, duck." |
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Proud Member of the Red TrioMy sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace"I think happiness is finding a couple extra fries at the bottom of the bag." - Pig, Pearls Before Swine
Just once, I want to shout, "Bwahahhahahaha!" and really mean it.
"I couldn't decide if I wanted marble fudge, chocolate, rocky road, vanilla or butter pecan...I finally decided to try marble fudge...then I had to choose between a plain cone or a sugar cone...I decided on the sugar cone...so what happened? I went out the door, and dropped the whole thing on the sidewalk! Don't tell me my life isn't a Shakespearean tragedy!" ~ Sally, Charlie Brown's sisterPictures of YouBunnies! Everywhere!
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| QuickHare |
Jun 10 2004, 08:05 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Here's a thought:
If Microsoft want to create a truely paperless office, where will the annoying paperclip go?
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| QuickHare |
Jun 24 2004, 12:00 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
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More ideas:
To stop a cold getting to your chest on those cold days, tie a knot in your neck. That ought to do it.
Language for the not-modern teenager:
Definition of defeat: De tings you walk on.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| QuickHare |
Jun 24 2004, 01:06 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Right. You asked for it. If you suffer from giggles and laughing too much, look away now.
What's the easiest way to make a banana split?
Simple. Cut it in half.
Definition:
Falsehood: I fake hat.
What has four eyes but cannot see?
The Mississippi.
Definition:
Crowbar: A place where birds drink.
What sits on ships going "croak, croak"?
A frog-horn.
Definition:
Junk: Things you keep for years and throw out just before you need them.
Did you know that judges relax by playing court games?
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I burned both my ears!
Doctor: How did you manage that?
Patient: I was ironing and the phone rang. I picked up the iron by mistake.
Doctor: But you said you burned both your ears.
Patient: Yes. As soon as I put the phone down it rang again.
What goes "Ha Ha Ha *Crash*"?
A man falling apart with laughter.
Did you hear the one about the future?
I'll tell it to you later.
Why are prayers never heard on Lord of the Rings?
Because the Elves kept ending them with "Arwen".
Definition:
Hypnotism: Rheumatism in the hip.
How does Luke Skywalker shave?
With a laser blade.
Why is grass so dangerous?
Because of all the blades.
Thank you, and good night!
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| QuickHare |
Jun 24 2004, 05:18 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
Joined: 30-January 04
Member No.: 2,603
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Anytime, HG, anytime.
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Drie |
Jun 24 2004, 09:37 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: The Mod Squad
Posts: 6,469
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Pasadena, CA
Member No.: 1,656
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Proud Member of the Red TrioMy sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace"I think happiness is finding a couple extra fries at the bottom of the bag." - Pig, Pearls Before Swine
Just once, I want to shout, "Bwahahhahahaha!" and really mean it.
"I couldn't decide if I wanted marble fudge, chocolate, rocky road, vanilla or butter pecan...I finally decided to try marble fudge...then I had to choose between a plain cone or a sugar cone...I decided on the sugar cone...so what happened? I went out the door, and dropped the whole thing on the sidewalk! Don't tell me my life isn't a Shakespearean tragedy!" ~ Sally, Charlie Brown's sisterPictures of YouBunnies! Everywhere!
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| QuickHare |
Jun 26 2004, 01:08 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: Admin
Posts: 4,218
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Member No.: 2,603
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| QUOTE (Drie @ Jun 24 2004, 10:37 PM) | *Drie looks around for her coffee mug*
Great pick-me-up! I needed that.  |
You'll need more than a coffe mug, Drie!
May I suggest you move to France, change your name to Adrienne Reinard, find the nearest restaurant and ask for a "bol de chocolat", drink the lovely liquid inside, then get to work by grabbing the empty cup and laughing into it wildly. Giggling or howling is also acceptable, but as long as you get the work in by Tuesday.
Those who've travelled to France and had such a drink will know they serve it usually in the biggest mugs you'll see, hence the name "bol de chocolat", directly translated to "bowl of chocolate".
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QuickHare
"To err is human. To completely screw up requires a computer."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." [Lao-tzu]
"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."
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| Drie |
Jun 28 2004, 06:06 PM
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It's a Small World After All
Group: The Mod Squad
Posts: 6,469
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Pasadena, CA
Member No.: 1,656
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| QUOTE (QuickHare @ Jun 26 2004, 05:08 AM) | | QUOTE | | May I suggest you move to France, change your name to Adrienne Reinard, find the nearest restaurant and ask for a "bol de chocolat", drink the lovely liquid inside, then get to work by grabbing the empty cup and laughing into it wildly. Giggling or howling is also acceptable, but as long as you get the work in by Tuesday. |
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Works for me! How 'bout if I refuse to come into work because I've completely gone off the deep end and am laughing uproariously at everyone and everything?
Humor the dangerous . . .  
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Proud Member of the Red TrioMy sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace"I think happiness is finding a couple extra fries at the bottom of the bag." - Pig, Pearls Before Swine
Just once, I want to shout, "Bwahahhahahaha!" and really mean it.
"I couldn't decide if I wanted marble fudge, chocolate, rocky road, vanilla or butter pecan...I finally decided to try marble fudge...then I had to choose between a plain cone or a sugar cone...I decided on the sugar cone...so what happened? I went out the door, and dropped the whole thing on the sidewalk! Don't tell me my life isn't a Shakespearean tragedy!" ~ Sally, Charlie Brown's sisterPictures of YouBunnies! Everywhere!
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